Crimson Stripes




You appear

Silent flowing river

Drops for us to ponder

Lost in an infinite act within times whisper

Flesh and stone creep closer in the intimate dance of the predestined hour

Your crimson stripes woven into a golden strand

Entering into the promised land

Black open void

Lay cold




Written for Poetry Jam and Poets United

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22 Responses to Crimson Stripes

  1. Laurie Kolp says:

    This is the ultimate sacrifice.

  2. Mary says:

    Alan, I will comment on your poem if I see that you comment on others. As far as I see in all communities (two today already that I have seen) you drop a link, don’t comment in the comment box, and just wait for others to comment on your poems. The blogosphere should not be a one-way street. Writing a poem is one thing, but reciprocity is equally important.

    • alan1704 says:

      Really sorry if i have upset you, the only reason i could not drop a link is that the computer i was working on went down and i have just got back home after work to go back to post the link. Really sorry if i caused anyone to get upset,.

      • Mary says:

        I still don’t think you understand though, Alan. In the same way other people comment on your poem here on your blog, can you not visit other people’s blogs and leave comments in regard to their poems?

      • Mary says:

        Since my initial comment, I notice you have been working you way through Poets United (with the exception of mine), so hope to see you at Poetry Jam as well. Truly I would not say anything if this was a one time thing…but it has been the usual; and we all enjoy comments in addition to reading and commenting on someone else’s poem. You are welcome to erase all these comments if you wish. You do write good poetry, but sometimes I think ‘fair is fair’ as far as the other part of relating in the blogosphere.

  3. Sherry Marr says:

    The photo perfectly accompanies this poem, one thinks of blood and death. “Black open void” is especially strong.

  4. The key words… scar, flesh, blood, red, convey a depth of pain and suffering within this true-to-form piece. The shape of the poem is so pleasing, the topic is thought-provoking. Thank you for participating, Alan.

  5. HisFireFly says:

    so much here
    and the blood of victory

  6. Mary says:

    I really like ‘your crimson stripes woven into a golden strand.’ That is an especially strong image.

  7. peggygoetz says:

    I like your Crimson Stripes. The photo or illustration is lovely and the whole thing draws me in. I am glad you tried my prompt!

  8. Susan says:

    The imagery here is beautiful … but disturbing too! Every week that I come to these writing challenges, I read every entry and there are always a few that I must return to several times over the course of the week to re-read and re-think. This is one of them for me this week. Thank you …

  9. Libby says:

    I like the “infinite act” and “intimate dance” stanzas – sharp enough to leave a scar, especially since I’m reading a book now with a human sacrifice theme.

  10. Helen Dehner says:

    … something chilling about a ‘predestined hour.’ I enjoyed this.

  11. brian miller says:

    Your crimson stripes woven into a golden strand

    Entering into the promised land

    nice….really brings out the spiritual aspects of this piece…nicely done….

  12. ND Mitchell says:

    Love the structure of this. Great biblical imagery.

  13. absolutely brilliant, I love the way it journeys

  14. Wayne says:

    lots of good lines here…..thanks for sharing

  15. alan1704 says:

    Thank you all for visiting and commenting.

    Life is full of learning experiences and this week has certainly been a learning experience for me.

    I cannot change the past, but i can change for the present and move forward into the future.

    Be blessed and thank you and for all your kind and helpful comments.

  16. Snakypoet (Rosemary Nissen-Wade) says:

    Fascinating! You take it way beyond a mere exercise, which I think is hard to do with a ofrm like this.

  17. Margaret says:

    the longest middle line is really nice!

  18. knightsheart says:

    Gripping poem – inspires many images

Thank you for reading my poems. Please don't feel you have to comment. I enjoyed writing them, I hope you enjoyed reading them, Be blessed.

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