Smooth sapphire spheres
Adorned with a ruby ribbon
The flakes of the sun stare at golden candles
Light a pale crimson horizon
Laconic laughter lifts
Written for Poets United
shape and all
I think flakes of the sun shine from golden candles? Lovely palette of colours…
nice…interesting progression in this alan…the contrasting textures….nice alliteration…the laughter and ash is somewhat haunting…
Beautiful! So descriptive I can see the “pale, crimson horizon”
The colors inclusions are gorgeous. The mood, so melancholy.
A ruby ribbon. This is lovely.
I like the shape, sounds and colors here Alan ~ The lifeless ash compels a deeper meaning ~
I love the progression of this poem, Alan. As Kim says, it is ‘melancholy.’
Beautiful picture, beautiful verse. Ending with ash seems like awaiting rebirth. Like a Phoenix?
Thank you all for your comments, to be honest i am never really sure if you should explain poems you right or just leave them to speak for themselves. Saying that this was written as picture of the erosion of the world and its lies into my heart and soul. I hope you like it, sometimes everything turns to ash if you let in despair.